at ebb

And just like that, in a month, those waves of feelings that rushed in are retreating back to their origin; it was a nice ride. I enjoyed it very much, thank you. I'm not so sure if I'm mad at the object of my affection as much as at myself. After all, I allowed myself to plunge in, feel the water.

He's a busy guy who doesn't like to talk on the phone. Of course, I gave him alternative means to contact me but he's not interested in anything other than face-to-face. I could be the better person, understanding 'n all. But I don't want to. At this age, I know what I want and don't have much patience and time for things to happen.

I also know that his laptop and navigator got stolen but he doesn't let me in, involve me in his life. Maybe I pissed him off when he was feeling vulnerable. In any case, he knew that I understood his hectic life. He knew that I wanted to be supportive of him; he knew how I felt. I never played any games. The ball was always in his court. I miss the chase; I miss when he was so into me.

"A relationship never ends," Rosamund Zander told her husband once. It may have been a tactic to make him stay in a difficult time. But to him, these words ignited a spark within to work on his marriage.

Even if we eventually lose contact, he'll always be remembered. I'm just frustrated that despite a month, I still don't know him very well.