envy

I'm not too sure if I can be around Haepee. She, unlike me, has a great relationship with her father, and I just feel cheated because though she may not have brains or the beauty, she has wealth and love -- something I may never obtain. She's great but her presence only emphasizes how much I lack and yet I'm always nice to her. If I want to stop the self-effacing, I may need to cut her out of my life. When she's not around, I just don't feel as bad about myself -- so naked and ashamed.