Just found out that Scat got married 2 weeks ago. This year, that makes 3 guys I dreamt of having a future with. Ok, Jepp doesn't count cuz all he meant to me was just a good choice for a prom date. But, Scat's marriage means the end to my high school days. That's right: no more hoping or potential suitors from those days; no more blast from the past. Ugh, I'm such a loser. No matter how much I tell myself I'm better off alone, as soon as I see the happy pictures, I get so jealous. Please, no more weddings this year. Lord, just spare me another despair for the rest of the year at least. Well, you've done your worst. They're all taken now. I'm just meant to be so miserable. So alone.
Funny. Just yesterday I was glad that I was alone.
Why can't I stop feeling so betrayed? So stabbed in the back? Why am I so angry?
Scat and I shared a beautiful moment, down on our knees, connected. I don't know if I'll ever get to have that kind of moment with another man. Scat may have experienced that with many girls but for me, he was the first and probably the last. Maybe that's why it stings so badly, searing...
Ah, I'll get over it. Soon, I hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment